Even after a quarter of a century, I still don’t know whom to give my plays once I’m finished drafting them. No one really wants to read a play, and I don’t blame them. Plays aren’t meant to be read. I have less trouble convincing people to come see my plays, but in order for that to happen, someone has to read them first, right? It is this catch-22, multiplied by others, that is nudging me elsewhere, but before I go I have to figure out what to do with my final script, Philosophical Zombie Killers.
When I am at a loss for what to do in a given situation, I sometimes try to make a game out of it. So here’s what I have come up with:
I will make 13 hardcopies of Philosophical Zombie Killers, and you will tell me where to send them. If you know of an institution or development opportunity that you think, based on the character breakdown and synopsis attached below, will leap at the chance to produce this play’s world premiere, terrific! Put that organization’s information in the comments. If, on the other hand, you just want a copy of the play for your own personal pleasure, to have and hoard, that’s fine too. Just let me know in the comments, and we’ll work together off line to determine the best way for me to get it to you.
I will make 13 copies. Just 13. You will tell me what to do with them. First come, first serve. And that’s the end of it. I agree this solution might seem a touch asinine, but really, no more so than any of the other ways I have pointlessly distributed my plays over the last 25 years.
So, it’s up to you. What should I do?
PS, if you just want to hear the play read out loud by some pretty terrific actors (and myself) just come to Freehold Theatre, on Saturday night, September 14. Here’s more info on that: https://www.facebook.com/events/181930878655353/
SYNOPSIS
The graduate level seminar is about human consciousness. Or at least that’s what you thought when you signed up for it. Now some-one’s telling you that you’re 45 years old and that you’re dying. You certainly didn’t sign up for that. Now this alcoholic professor is asking you to explain consciousness to him. And this depressed ex-cop from Missouri is telling you about the epidemic of decapitations in Seattle. And this weird lady from Omnisoft just wants you to admit that there’s no such thing as consciousness and no such thing as you for that matter. Could she possibly be right? Might make dying easier.
Wait.
Who said you were dying?
Time: Now and 23 years ago
Place: Here, a university lecture hall, a loft in Pioneer Square
Characters:
- Bill, a man in his 40’s
- Simon, a man in his 40’s to 60’s
- Susan, a woman in her 40’s

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