“Come” she told me, “with your shame and your gringo.” I looked up & stepped toward
the old woman, black habit
standing under the sun-white arch of the church.
She was called Agatha, mistress of God.
And I would be called graverobber, trapped in a movie
trapped in Mexico, some hundred & eight miles from the border,
with a man’s head in a Scotch plaid hatbox. Fucking flies. And not a whorehouse in sight.
This is a dirty old town without clear pavement markings
& I drove right into the doorway of the little apostolic house of Jesus
before I noticed the labored eyes of Our Lord looking down on me.
I parked the sedan. It purred raggedly, panting exhaust
like a hole in a lung. Then the engine stopped altogether & I took my cue to get out
& get religion. Head, I’m taking you with me.
There’s nothing sacred about a hole in the ground. The Church
cuts off lips, fingers, the petrified genitals of saints made merchandise …
but me I’m seventy miles an hour
out of midnight, the village cemetery in Jalisco,
men shouting in Spanish on brown horses, women on horses
shouting & everybody’s got a gun.
Hypocrites, double-crossers … Head, you’re the only one in this country who’s not trying to kill me
& I appreciate that. Bygones are bygones, the past is the past & the past
wants us all to be happy. I’m going to stagger into the confessional
& stagger back out. Then we’ll go see Mr. Big
& his boyfriends. So don’t touch anything on the tables. So stop looking at me
with your goddamn fucking eyes.
David Penn
1995
“peckinpah”
by Omar Willey